For my first 'Tearjerker Thursday with Salacious S' I opted for 'Nothing Graceful' by WuogKat.
In 'Nothing Graceful', Bella is a doctor who is diagnosed with cancer. It's an agressive brain tumor which is inoperable. The story starts with Bella asking her ex-husband Edward to look at some films. He doesn't know she is actually asking for a second opinion and is therefor very honest in his findings. He gives her months, a year at the most. Of course, it doesn't take Edward long to see that these aren't the films belonging to one of Bella's patients and finding out the truth, he stands by her side as best as he can.
Edward is the one who urges her to tell her husband, Jasper. But Bella keeps on avoiding the inevitable. When she finally drops the bomb on Jasper, he is willing to call off their vacation so she can get treated. Only to have his hope destroyed, when Bella informs him of the severity of her condition.
The one shot goes on past Bella's death and ends with a spark of hope, love and happiness.
As beautiful as it was, it made me sad. I almost felt like there was a number assigned to it – like we had a finite number of times to be together before I passed on. Tears sprang back into my eyes. Jasper shifted and pulled me into his arms. He sat in my office chair with me curled into his lap. I sniffed and tried not let my nose touch his shirt. Jasper only shook his head and gently pressed my cheek to his chest with his free hand.
"Bella, I know that you're hiding something. Whatever it is, whenever you're ready, I'll be here to listen," he murmured into my hair. I knew that I should tell him right then, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the trip. I wanted at least another two weeks without my diagnosis hanging over both of our heads. It was bad enough that I had been burdened with the knowledge of my own mortality. Jasper deserved one last vacation before I left him alone with the kids.
I slowly pulled myself back together emotionally. Jasper helped me straighten up, including carefully rebuttoning my shirt and sliding my lab coat back over my shoulders. He was so gentle and kind. Just once I wished that he would be harsh because it might make it easier when I was forced to go.
"I love you." He placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Remember, I'm always here," he added.
His hand was on the doorknob before I felt the urge to speak. I couldn't remain silent.
"Jasper," I called.
"Yes?" He turned to face me with hope in his eyes.
"I will always love you," I whispered just loud enough for him to make it out. His expression fell, and he gave me a weak smile before exiting my office. I sat down in my chair and cried again. I was hurting him.
I stumbled upon this short story, when I was digging through my favorites. I couldn't remember what it was about and so I read it for the second time. Halfway through the story, I remembered the ending, but decided to just keep reading. I was nearing the ending anyway, so it would have been silly to stop. It didn't take me long to burst into tears again and that's when I decided this would be the perfect story to feature today. If a story can make me cry twice, then I know it's good.
I really love this one shot, because I too have lost people dear to me who had cancer. So the story really hits home. Often when diagnosed with a disease, people tend so shut down and hide it from their loved ones in an attempt to save them from the pain. I was actually glad to see that she came clean with Jasper, because further on in the story you will see how it changed his perception of her. I think Wuogkat did an excellent job at describing the hesitation, the fear and the guilt Bella went through as she kept her illness hidden from Jasper.
Personally, I think the ending in Jasper's point of view is the best part. The entire segment through his eyes had me crying like a baby. And when that perfect ending -which I'm not going to tell you too much about- rolled around, I actually smiled, feeling relieved and happy for Jasper.
It's a really beautiful piece and I hope you'll like it as much as I did.
Love,
Salacious S
No comments:
Post a Comment