Since Alluring A has not been able to post lately, I decided we couldn't leave y'all hanging like this any longer. So from now on, I'll be taking her place until she gets back.
For my first (and maybe last) Madcap Monday, I'd like to talk to you about a wonderful story called 'Sassafrass Junction'. Jasper-lovers, it's time to moisten those lips. Edward-lovers, widen your horizon, because this is a 'must-read' fic. And all the other lovers, spread the non-canon love, lovelies.
'Coyote Ugly' exists! It's right there in Phoenix, Arizona, where the air is hot and the girls are even hotter.
Bella has become a very independent woman after Edward left. She has a job at a local bar called...well what do you know...'Sassafrass Junction' and on one particular night someone familiar walks in.
Jasper has joined his old friends Charlotte and Peter, although he sticks to the vegetarian diet. When they go out for the night, he's surprised to see a tough, strong and sexy-as-hell Bella dancing on top of the bar. Some douche bag tries to grab her and she goes toppling down the bar. Jasper catches her in time though.
That's the start of a beautiful friendship, pardon the cliché.
Of course, it wouldn't be a 'Madcap Monday' segment, if the story wasn't funny as hell. Trust me, it is.
Some examples:
After stopping on the way home to hunt, I'd arrived home to find Peter giggling his ass off looking at something on his laptop. God only knew.
"What's so funny?" I asked him, setting my keys in the little bowl in the entryway.
"Lolcats, Jasper," he answered, all chuckles.
"The fuck?" I asked him, not sure if I heard him correctly. Cats?
"It's this website I came across, these cats with fuckin' High-LAR-ious captions on them. Almost makes me wanna get one, if Iwasn't afraid you'd have it for a snack."
"And what exactly would we do with a cat? Assuming one would stick around the place, which it wouldn't," I said, walking over to have look at the screen. Why did the captions have such poor grammar and spelling? Aren't cats supposed to be fairly intelligent creatures? And what would they need a walrus's bucket for? Why does the walrus even have a bucket? I didn't get it.
"Trust me Jasper, you could use a little pussy." Shot that fucker the bird for that one.
"What's the matter Jasper, don't like to play with your food?"
I crossed my arms across my chest and looked back at him.
X
"DEARLY BELOVED!" he shouted. We all jumped. What the fuck is this? "WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO WITNESS THE UNION OF, STATE YOUR NAME PLEASE," he shouted at Jasper, whose eyes were as wide as saucers.
"Um, Jasper Whitlock."
"WHAT? SPEAK UP SON, I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING." You don't fucking say.
"JASPER WHITLOCK." Jasper stated much louder.
"CASPER?" Oh, are you fucking kidding me?
"JASPER! JUH! JASPER!"
The minister nodded. "OK. CASPER AND…" he shouted, pointing at me.
"ISABELLA SWAN!"
"ESMERALDA?"
"BELLLL-UHHH!" Fuck!
"WE ARE GATHERED HERE THIS EVENING TO JOIN CASPER AND STELLA INTO HOLY MATRIMONY, AND TO HONOR THEIR COMMITMENT TO ONE ANOTHER…"
My ears were already starting to ring; I could only imagine how it sounded to the vamps in the room with their supersonic hearing. I glanced at Jasper who had his nose wrinkled and brow furrowed. To my left, Rose and Char's faces held similar expressions, and to Jazz's right, Peter was silently laughing his ass off. Of course.
Emmett's face was frozen in a wide-eyed WTF expression, gaping at the minister. A quick glance over my shoulder earned me the sight of Lara just about falling out of her chair, tears running down her face and clutching her stomach. Ben wasn't doing so much better. Because this is the way my fucking life goes.
I loved this fic, as well as the sequel 'Bella Whitlock, HBIC'. I simply swoon at the Jasper, VampishVixen has created. He's protective, possessive, but allows Bella her freedom. Not that the tough bitch would let him hover too much. She knows how to stand her man. Jasper is also fun, sweet, sexy,...God, he's just perfect. Then there is the other Whitlock I adore,...yes, that would be Peter. Well, let me tell you, "HOT DAMN!"
He's got it all! He's funny as hell, he's adorable and flirty. He has an open relationship with his wife Char and it shows. Char likes the female body as much as a male's body and doesn't oppose to the idea of tasting the human. And I am not talking about her blood. Every chance he gets, Peter flirts with Bella to get on Jasper's nerves and it made me laugh ever time. Bella and Peter together, are a force to be reckoned with. Or should I say Stella?
This fic is just so perfect; there aren't enough words in the world to explain the genius, that is 'Sassafrass Junction'. It has everything I want in a good story; it has a good storyline, a lot of humor and tons of the sexiest fucking scenes ever. Pardon my French. I don't usually curse in my posts, but when I get really excited I just can't stop it.
So don't just sit there, picking your nails and drooling on your keyboard; click the link and go read! You won't regret it!
Hopefully, you all liked my 'Madcap Monday' post and I'll see you guys on Wednesday.
Love,
Salacious S
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